Tips
“So I decided to wear a dress to work today because it’s beautiful out. When I got to work, the bartender says “So I see you’re wearing a short dress today, that will get you girls a lot of tips.” If I had it my way, it wouldn’t matter what I was wearing, just hard work would be enough.” – Female, 21
The Prettiest Girls
“As social chair of sororities, we have meetings with the social chairs of every frat to set up our social schedule for the next semester. I went to my meeting with the social chair of this frat that’s considered the most “cool” or whatever. My co-social chair and I got to the meeting and sat down with these two kids immediately one of them goes: “Oh do you guys purposely pick the prettiest girls in your house to be socials to get a good social schedule. I can never tell if comments like that are compliments or put-downs, but it didn’t feel right.” – Female, 22
Snap Break
“It was spring break and I had been flirting with this guy from another school all week. He seemed like a lot of fun, long blonde hair raspy voice and everything. He was always hitting on me and it was just harmless fun. It was my last night on the resort and I ran into him late night by the pool. We went back to his room and I thought things were going well, I was down for a good time. At one point I was fully naked and I noticed he had his phone out. I snatched it from him and it turns out he was just about to post a video of me lying there naked. He was speechless, didn’t even say sorry. When I left all he could say was: ” Hey, sometimes things don’t always go quite as planned”. ” – Female, 21
HIS-story
“I was taking some time to procrastinate starting my homework in the library the other day and I looked around this beautiful room lined with wooden walls with names engraved in gold next to gold plated faces of the people named and it dawned on me I was surrounded by men. There were about a couple woman’s names out of the forty or so up there. It’s still a stunning room but it really reinforces that our “history” up until recently was written by men about men for men. It’s been HIS-story.” Female, 21
Just Me
“A boy I was seeing used to always tell me how into hooking up with Latina girls he was. He told me his friend was so jealous that he was hooking up with a Latina girl, it was on his bucket list apparently. They’re supposed to be “sexy” & “spicy” and things like that. I know he didn’t mean to minimize me to a stereotype and at the time I was flattered, but looking back I’m upset. I was being held to a sexual standard just because of my ethnicity. I just want to be me.” – Female, 20
Uber Isn’t For Everyone
“Last weekend I went to a concert with some friends. They wanted to go home afterward but I wanted to meet some other people out at the bars. I ordered an Uber by myself, first mistake I guess. He was so creepy, he kept asking for my number and started trying to get closer to me. At one point he stroked my legs because he thought I was cold. I didn’t know what to do, I called my friend and stayed on the phone with her until I got to my stop. Uber is supposed to be an affordable and convenient app for everyone, but it’s not, it’s fucked up.” – Female, 21
Full Force Creep
“We weren’t really talking anymore after everything that had happened. His best friend cornered me at a party last weekend asking me to “just come over and we can talk about it”. He was being creepy and gross and wouldn’t let me go. He took my phone away so I couldn’t text anyone, then he tried to force kiss me. It was totally unexpected because we were kind of friends before all this and I always see him around. This was the first time he went full force creep on me. It was awful” – Female, 21
Escape Route
“I really don’t know if its always been this bad or maybe now that media is so significant we just hear about it more…either way, its terrifying. I’m so aware of the possibilities it freaks me out, and every time I go somewhere I’m thinking of an escape route” – Female, 21
Let’s Be Real
“Today I had orientation for a government job where myself and a female employee discussed my role as an intern and what I should be expecting during the upcoming weeks. The orientation also consisted of a long discussion about sexual harassment and what steps to take if I do experience anything that made me feel uncomfortable. She continued to talk about who I could speak to as an outlet if it ever did happen during my time there. She stated that she’s never had an issue with an intern however she continued by stating, “let’s be real, it’s gonna happen sooner or later.” In the moment of the interview I didn’t think much of her comment, however after thinking about it more I felt sad that sexual harassment has now become a norm for females to experiencing in the work force. As a young woman this makes me nervous for the future. Are we in an era where I should be preparing myself to experience sexual harassment? Are employers preparing their employees for this “reality”” – Female, 21
Intuition?
“My best friend is in a long distance relationship with this guy, so I’ve never met him in person. He followed me on Instagram a few weeks ago. Objectively speaking, my Instagram is what some might call modest. The only remotely revealing photo on my account is a photo of me laying on a bed with rose petals and towel animals (made by hotel staff) in a bikini while on vacation with my boyfriend in Mexico. My friend’s boyfriend told her that he had to unfollow me because he was sick of seeing all of my “slutty photos of me wearing no clothing” and he could “just tell” that I was a selfie obsessed attention seeking type of girl. He’s never met me.” – Female, 21
The Passive Ones
“You should feel uncomfortable, you’re part of the problem! So I’m in the Vagina Monologues and my friend and I were doing this piece and one of the lines is: “I’m so over the passivity of good men” and it’s so true. Yeah, you can be a good man and you can understand and you can not say sexist, transphobic, homophobic shit but like if you’re passive about it then you’re part of the problem, right? Because you’re not standing up and talking to your brothers, and your father and your friends about the shit that they’re doing and if you’re not taking your position of privilege and using it to help others then what the fuck are you doing?” – Female, 20
Just Pong
“It was my freshman year, we were invited to a pregame at ___. I was playing pong with this guy, I don’t remember who it was or what he looked like. We were just playing pong, it was totally normal just talking and then he just put his hand…just like held it on my butt and just kept it there. I’m usually someone who speaks out and I don’t know what happened, it just startled me a lot and I kind of just stepped away and I remember so vividly what I was wearing because that was my first reaction. What was I wearing that could make him think he could do that and now I’m so mad at myself for having that first reaction. I was wearing athletic leggings and a T-shirt and I was like how could he think that I would want that in athletic leggings and a shirt. Now I can’t stop thinking about how I immediately thought it was my fault.” – Female, 21
Costume
“One night I was at a frat party, a boy kept touching me and my costume. I asked him to stop multiple times and his friend responded with, “you’re at a frat house, what did you expect.” Location never warrants anyone to touch others without their consent, and it’s experiences like these that make myself and other women nervous and cautious around men.” – Female, 21
A Look
“I can always tell when a man is looking at me with bad intentions. Call it a gut feeling, I guess. I think you could probably ask any woman about this, theres something in that look that makes me feel small. Some times its a quick up-down, like he’s assessing my body other times it’s a look with a sly grin and then other times it’s just a vibe. I don’t know if its conscious on their part but it makes my skin crawl and just want to get out of there as fast as possible, even in the most seemingly innocent situations. I wonder if I could make a man feel that way with one look.” – Female, 20